You may be one of 2200 people who had the time to call into a hotline recently and complain about the following sketch. It's a sketch starring Rowan Atkinson as the new Archbishop of Canterbury, addressing his flock on the importance of Comic Relief. I'll not destroy the sketch entirely for those who didn't just watch it, but it's essentially a characterisation of a man of the cloth who's desperately trying to appear chummy and cool. (S...

Two days ago a friend told me that a colleague of hers had been offended. I asked why. She told me that it was to do with King Richard III. Known throughout history as the Hunchback King, recent events have brought this name-calling into controversy. The idea of King Richard having a hunched back was thought apocryphal. He was given a hunched back in Shakespeare's play about him, which was written over a century after his death in 1485 (his de...

"Public calls! We've got the public on our side! Out of my way, guy with public opinion coming through!" This is a definite-not-lie quote from UK Prime Minister David Cameron, who has the public on his side. That's very important - as it makes what he's doing the right thing. Apparently. In this context Mr Cameron is referring to public opinion on holding a referendum on Britain's membership in the European Union. The promise is that if Cam...

The bottom of this article has a song which basically sums up my defence, even though I first heard it after writing the sodding piece. The British have a problem. Over the past few years they have learned, legitimately, that almost every single nationwide institution has been corrupted. Worldwide, the discovery that the banks were corrupted wasn't exactly a shock to most people's public confidence, but what the bankers did to the world wa...

For your records, remember that I said in the title 'King of the UK' and not 'King of England.' The UK is more than England, and when I explain who Chad Tycoon is, the Welsh, Scots and Northern Irish are going to want to know who he is. (Incidentally, the common mistake of referring to the United Kingdom as England is a hang-up of British terminology. England used to mean both England and the whole of the country. It wasn't up until the rise o...

In writing for this publication, I have come to discover a little-known fact about America, and that it has recently gone through what's called a general election. The leader, a man called Barrack Obama/Mitt Romney has seen off a challenger by the name of Mitt Romney/Barack Obama. I don't have much more information than that, due to the continual media silence on anything even vaguely political. Sorry I got that wrong. What I meant to sa...

Dear Elizabeth, In the year of your Diamond Jubilee you are no doubt reflecting upon your incredible sixty-year reign. People have been born, grown old, and died all under the monarchy of Elizabeth II. Your reign, and indeed the reign of the Windsors is by far the most established institution of the United Kingdom. Of course, calling this nation the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland does sweep a rather enormous issue unde...